Gorak’s Personal Log: Log Entry 3
<Gorak Khzam: First Officer of the New Republic Farstar>
I’m in love…and I hate myself for it.
Having said that, let me explain about Uluala Dergan. She’s the most exotic… confusing… incredible woman I’ve ever met. And she’s not even Rodian…or human, for that matter…she’s another creature altogether, although still reptilian, at least. Normally, I don’t like the other alien races. I’d rather hunt down the weak ones and avoid the stronger ones. But, in her case, I’ll make an exception any day. She’s a Falleen, and such an exquisite one, at that.
And she’s also an agent of Chuborro the Hutt…
How someone as wonderful as Uluala could get mixed up with that Worm, I’ll never understand. I cringe to think of the vile things Hutts have been known to do with their pleasure-slaves. If he’s so much as touched the tip of that fat tongue near Uluala’s glistening skin, I’ll cut it from his mouth with my own hands…but…no…I’m sure that Uluala has never provided that kind of service to Chuborro. She’s a special woman. Above that kind of thing, I’m sure.
She came to me with a request…and an offer. Chuborro wants Darkstryder. And he wants the Farstar and the New Republic removed from the picture. I’m sure he plans to try and eliminate us at some point, and he’s asked me to look the other way. In return, he offers me…her. And I want her! As much as I try to deny it, no one has ever made me feel as she does…and we only spoke for a few minutes! Imagine what a lifetime would be like by her side?!?
What to do? How to do it? How can I accept such an offer? How can I refuse it? I can’t think straight anymore. Every time I try to, I think of her again and all my schemes dissolve away. I didn’t tell her about the Night Terrors, although I feel guilty for not doing so. Her master may be destroyed…and some part of me wishes it to happen that way. Not because Chuborro and I have been rivals for so long…but because I want her! And I want Chuborro out of the picture… gone… eradicated…any memory of him taken away from her so that she will only know me…want me.
What is this feeling? Jealousy? I’ve never felt like this before…at least, not over a woman! I’ve been jealous of Sarne and his power. I’ve been jealous of Chuborro and his organization. I’ve even been jealous of Kla’al and his hunting prowess. But I’ve never been jealous over a woman!
There’s no denying it though. I have to find a way to possess Uluala Dergan. The plan that has been put in motion against Chuborro is the first step. Rather than accept the Worm’s gift and do his bidding like an underling, I will eliminate him, take his possession, and make it mine instead. It’s not a cruel thing to do. I’ll be liberating her from the clutches the most vile Hutt since Jabba died on Tatooine. I’ll be doing her a favor. Yes, a favor for her…and then her favors for me. I would never treat her as a possession as Chuborro has…how could he possibly offer her up like a gift to someone? She’s a person with rights!
What am I saying!?! Rights? For an alien? I’ve never stood up for anyone’s rights in my life! More often than not, I take those so-called rights away from them, not the other way around. I find it highly ironic that I’ve spent all these years in the ‘trade’ and now I’m about to do the exact opposite and try to free someone because she has rights! Incredible! I’ve lost my mind!
But wait…no I haven’t. I was already trying to move Sabiador away from the ‘trade’ before I even met Uluala. It’s not so crazy after all. I’ve told my loyalists that I changed. And that wasn’t a lie after all. I really have changed. It just took the Falleen to make me realize how much. And, for that, I think I love her even more…
<End Personal Log>