Slime, Slime and Radioactive Sludge
A short story a friend wrote that I have since revised with the racial names.
Wizidil was the lucky one. Oh, he was short, and in most places the toxic waste was over his head, but he was still the fortunate one. Why? He could hold his breath for 30 minutes.
“To Zot with this shit!” burst out Bane, “My fur smells, my gun’s getting slimed, my armor is being penetrated, I’ve been hurt for the first time in 400 PG days, and worst of all, my nose is going crazy! Ugh, the smell. If I ever get out of here, I’m gonna go home and become K’A’Sind again. No more adventure, no more danger, just clean fun and women.“
As visions of manicured fur and gorgeous Tor’Drani courtesans whirled through his head, Bane trudged on. Looking at him, you wouldn’t know that mass of scarred armor, weapons and green slime was anything sane. It would have scared a drunk Dralasite.
“I hate these omnivores, I hate that veggy eater, I hate this goop, 1 hate these mutants, I hate …” Redblaze was murmuring to himself again. He knew it was a bad habit, but he just couldn’t stop. It wasn’t like he had anyone to talk to. Just this drug happy Tor’Drani and that green fur ball. “If I had my clan with me, we’d clean this mess up quick! But noooo, I have to deal with omnivores. There is no justice.” Though he didn’t know it, Redblaze was the best off of the group. Not only was he the tallest, and hence least affected by the sewer waste, but he also was the chosen one of the god Nor …
“Yah know what George?” called out the security guard at the console.
His buddy answered, “What now I Eddie?”
Eddie was only too happy to answer. “I’ve seen some funny things, but this I has to take the cake. I mean, look at those fools! Did you see them against the fire mutant? I thought I’d die laughing when it fell over that Wen’tri. Not that you could see it, not after it sank to the bottom .” He paused, and then continued, Of course, my favorite was the Tor’Drani sonic sword between the legs. Chop off more than a mutant, that’s fore sure.”
“Nah, that was good, but I liked the nose sticking out of the shit much better. Had more class. Tor’Drani deserve it, too.” He took a bite out of his doughnut, and started talking with his mouth full, “And that Halogai’, you know, the one with the smart gun; one of these days that
thang’s gonna jam, and he’ll be all over the room with it. Dumb, stupid War Tech jocks. Think they’ll solve everything with a bigger gun. Gimme a Nova cannon, and I’d be brave too.”
“You said it man.” Eddie sipped his coffee. “You know, this stuff is sick. Wudda ya expect from a joint like MEAR though? Look at that!” He pointed at the screen. “Now the idiots are using grenades! Boomers no less! In a dump like this, I’d love to hear ’em when the roof starts to fall. There it goes now. Yo man, a big slab just fell on that stupid Tor’Drani moron. Slammed him around but good. By the time they get here, they’ll be begging for help. Pathetic!”
“Quit sight seeing, man, we got to get back to work.”
“Alright, alright, keep your shirt on. It’s just that them bozzos really need to take a course in Life. Knowing them, they probably set that first slime room on fire .. .”